Metacognition, Money Blocks, and Becoming a Damn Good Human.
The Paradox
I move through daily life truly believing I’m capable of building something extraordinary — the kind of business that grants full financial freedom, pays off all debt, and lets my husband live his dream as a stay-at-home-cat-dad.
I’m positive, driven, focused. A do-er. And yet, my results haven’t matched the effort. And it doesn’t make sense.
There’s something deeper at play here.
The Backstory
These conscious beliefs I identify as “the kind of person I am” are basically the opposite of how I was raised. Bear with me — this isn’t a ‘poor me’ story.
My mom — whom I love dearly and who did her best — always had (and still has) what I now recognize as a scarcity mindset, paired with a quiet but deep sense of unworthiness. We lived paycheck to paycheck, and while that stressed her out, she seemed to equate a kind of nobility to it.
People who had savings or took vacations were met with a sarcastic “Must be nice!” instead of curiosity or inspiration. But she never took steps to become one of “those people.”
I moved out at 18 and across the country after college. My siblings (who all live within 15 miles of our childhood home) still joke that I couldn’t have moved further away.
And over time, I came to believe I’d flipped the script. But I’m learning now that it’s not always that straightforward.
The Invisible Inheritance
I don’t believe life is out to get me — quite the opposite. I fully believe in the mind’s ability to shape reality, and I welcome challenges.
I’m also someone who strives for self-actualization.
And still… there are moments when it feels like something hidden hits the e-brake, just when momentum is building.
Then, in a second twist, that same inner mechanism whispers, “Actually, you were doing it wrong.”
Here’s an example:
Years ago, I left a secure job to follow a dream: starting my own brewery. I enrolled in a craft brewing program, saved up, graduated, apprenticed, got hired, moved up to Head Brewer, made industry connections. Things were moving.
I started writing a business plan. Got investors. Looked at spaces. Took meetings.
And then, after one meeting with an investor whose personality rubbed me the wrong way, I started backing out. The justifications started flowing: maybe it’s not the right time; maybe I haven’t earned it yet; maybe they only want to invest because I’m a woman in a male-dominated field; they’ll never take me seriously.
And I believed those thoughts.
Was it laziness? Fear? No. I was working incredibly hard, with clear intention.
It was self-sabotage. Not the conscious kind. The kind rooted in unresolved internal contradictions. In my case: “You can’t succeed too big.” Or, “You’re not one of those people.” Or, “Struggle is more noble than success.”
I still face this in my current business (which isn’t beer-related). But now, I’m doing something different.
Metacognition & the Power of Alignment
Here’s a secret I didn’t know had a name: I’ve always tried to “stand outside of myself” when I’m working through something — to observe my own thoughts from a short distance, like an intelligent, mind-reading fly-on-the-wall.
Turns out, there’s a word for that: metacognition.
And it’s one of the most powerful tools we have for change.
You can learn to do it. You can get better at it. And you can focus it with purpose — to build internal coherence, to find and release inherited programming, to realign with who you actually are.
At this stage in my life, I feel like I’m just beginning a deeper journey: one where I bring my conscious and subconscious into true alignment.
And I have a hunch that kind of alignment becomes a superpower.
The Gameplan
Here’s how I’m approaching it:
Step 1: Name the Beliefs
Metacognition first. I’m getting curious about those old subconscious scripts — noticing when they show up and what they’re saying is the ‘right’ thing to do. I’m realizing that when it comes to your subconscious, the right thing to do is the same as the safe, familiar thing to do (i.e., what you’ve always done in the past). How can one expect to change their outer/external situation when they don’t change their internal beliefs?
Step 2: Release Them
I imagine letting them go with love and finality — like smoke from a campfire rising up and disappearing into the night sky – you can’t get it back, and that’s okay…that’s actually the point. They served a version of me. But that version grew up. They can go.
Step 3: Visualize with Feeling
Now I imagine a future scene, in full detail, like I’ve already lived it:
It’s morning. My dogs are curled up on the deck of a quiet cabin, sunlit, facing a sparkling lake. I grab my coffee, sit at a beautiful maple slab table, and open my laptop. I check my business account: $98,942.00. I feel gratitude. I sip. I close it. I go sit with the dogs in the sun.
And here’s the most important part: I don’t know exactly how I get there. But I believe I will. And I’ll keep doing the work every day with presence, discipline, and joy.
Where I’m Going
I’m starting a daily meditation practice.
I’m doing three outside-my-comfort-zone actions a week (especially the ones that involve visibility with my business).
I’m continuing to work, create, connect, and learn.
Because this isn’t just about success. It’s about becoming someone aligned, awake, and fully living to my potential.
What’s Helping Me
Books and ideas I’ve been loving lately:
- Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza
- The Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton
- Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza
- Transcend by Scott Barry Kaufman
- Reality is Not What It Seems by Carlo Rovelli
- The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest
- A Stubbornly Persistent Illusion by Stephen Hawking
- The Many Worlds of Quantum Mechanics by Sean Carroll (Great Courses)
Care to Join?
If you made it to the end of this, you might be my kind of person, and vice versa.
Welcome to Dogs & Coffee — a quiet corner of the internet for thoughtful humans who want to become damn good humans (DGHs, if you will), and maybe make the world a little better in the process.
We might start a book club. There will probably be stickers. Definitely more dogs. And always coffee.
Thanks for reading. See you soon.
